Swallowing Anxiety

Sorry, I've been slacking on updates. Since Monday, I've had PFTs twice. Thursday's numbers were the same as

Monday's. So I am hoping and praying that I have not plateaued here. I still need to gain another 10% to reach my baseline.
I want to tell everyone who has been supporting me this whole time that I am so thankful for all the prayers and encouragement. It means so much and it helps get through the rough days; much like today.
Today, I am being sent to the Transitional Care Unit (TCU) to finish out my three week course of IV antibiotics. I would normally finish up at home with a PICC line, but because of my GI bleed, I can't be put on anticoagulation that I need for the clotting issues I have when I get lines.
I've been to TCU only once before and I did not like it. I really can't put a finger on why; I just know, it is not a place I want to go back to. At first mention of going, I felt my anxiety level shoot through the roof and I broke down and cried. I am still extremely anxious about going. My transport will be here in about twenty minutes. And as the clock ticks, my mind is filling itself with dread. I know I'll be fine, but for whatever reason, I am absolutely stressed out about this...
I am hoping I won't have to be there too long. I have PFTs again on Monday. If those number show improvement, I will be able to go home Tuesday. So, I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying hard for God to help me with strength and the ability to stay on the up and up.
I've been struggling lately with my depression and borderline personality (BPD) because of everything that has been going on with my health and other personal things. For those of you who don't know, I struggled a lot with depression, anxiety, BPD, PTSD, suicidal tendencies, self injury, and eating disorder throughout my teenage years. I went to treatment 8 times from ages 14-18. I am currently almost two and a half years cut-free. This is a huge accomplishment for me. I used to self harm multiple times a day, so I never thought that I could find the strength to stop completely. I am even more proud of myself because during the past 8 months, things have been pretty difficult in my personal life, but I have managed to find something to hold on to and that something has gotten me through it all withOUT hurting myself.

Well, time to go... Transport is here. I'll try updating later. :)