Dinner of Champions...

I've been at TCU since Friday afternoon. So far, I still don't like it, but its not horrible. I will have PFTs tomorrow and as long as my numbers haven't gone down, I can go home on Tuesday. 

Even though it has been a difficult eight months, dealing with the GI bleed and low PFTs, I am so thankful to have all the support from family and friends, even some people I don't know. No prayer or words of kindness go unappreciated. Each one has a special meaning and they are so much more valuable than anything someone could physically give me. 

I would not be able to do any of this if it weren't for having God in my life. When I was younger, I believed in God one hundred percent, but going to through much of the things I've experienced, I was tested in my faith and after I got a lot of thoughts sorted out, I began on my journey to find Him once again. The Lord is definitely my savior. I know He has been the one to guide me through the hardships and trials in the past eight months, and even before that when I was struggling with my faith. I also know, He has been there for every triumph and accomplishment and that He is the reason I could achieve them. 

Since I've been sick, I've not had an appetite at all. I will go 24+ hours without eating anything. I do have my tube feedings running continuously, but I only get 750 calories a day from that. I am supposed to have a minimum of 2500 cal/day, but if I eat when I feel like this, I just end up vomiting right away. My tube feeding rates are also up as high as I can tolerate them. 
I have been able to, at least, maintain my weight. Granted, it is not where my team wants me to be at, but thinking positively, I am not losing. 

Now, I mustache you a question. How long do you think you could be in the hospital before you go insane? 
I think I have finally lost it. In the past 8 months, I have been hospitalized for about 6 of those months. It's pretty sad when you have been in the hospital so much that you can just say, "I'm used to it..." I try to keep a positive attitude and a smile on my face, which I feel have done a pretty darn good job of, but on occasion I have breakdowns/cry sessions. And I am 100% ok with that. I've learned from past experience that holding it all inside will lead to feeling worse because you stuff it and pack it until there's no more room to stuff it and when it gets too full, it bursts. 

                 Over the course of 8 months, I have had over 80 peripheral IVs and over 120 lab draws. My arms and hands are so bruised it hurts when anyone touches them. I would be thrilled if I could get a PICC line right now... Well, I hope you all have a great day! Be careful if you are in the areas affected by severe thunderstorms or tornadoes!